Faithful readers will know that my wife Jan and I have just arrived back home in Daglan after a whirlwind visit to Paris, and no doubt are dying to know what’s being worn there these days. Let’s start with a less-than-exciting update, and then progress to news that could well make your day!
The update is that there are (still) two kinds of attire that the average North American and British tourist will wear in this most posh and stylish of French cities. They fall into the following categories:
- Let’s walk on the beach. Whether you imagine your beach to be a sandy shore near Jacksonville, Florida, or a rocky beach in Maine or the coast of England, you will want to dress appropriately. You will wear sturdy running shoes with white (or even black!) athletic socks, a nice pair of shorts, a tee shirt (preferably with a place name or a witty slogan) and a baseball cap. For many tourists, this is the perfect look for the avenues of Paris!
- Let’s go on safari. This “look” is a variation on the walk-on-the-beach attire, but it suggests that the wearer is ready for just about anything that could go wrong in a major capital city — such as an attack by lions or man-eating bees. The clothing includes lots of khaki, from shorts to shirts. Strong leather hiking boots are essential, and really thick socks. A floppy cloth hat (to keep out the burning rays of the tropical sun) completes the look. Fortunately, because of France’s stringent firearms regulations, tourists are not usually carrying powerful rifles.
- Short and sweet. And now for the good news. Seriously, this is true. Never, ever have I seen so many attractive young women wearing short skirts, short dresses, and short shorts — whether in Paris or anywhere else. (Trust me on this — I can’t provide photographic proof, because I was afraid of being accosted by the boyfriends of these attractive young women — but many of the outfits we saw in Paris over the past few days made the mini-skirts of the 1960s seem dowdy.) Now, you might say, so what? Well, if you believe in the Hemline Index, first posited in 1926, you’ll know that rising hemlines suggest an imminent rise in the stock market.
So for all of you who have been waiting for your investments to take off, just settle back and relax. A bull market is on the way. Trust me on this.
Or at least, have a visit to Paris and enjoy the view.